On a sunny Thursday morning, I arrived on site. We had a delayed start today, as the client preferred us not to be there first thing in the morning. Together with my team, I was constructing a new shed a short distance away from the exquisite house with its breathtaking view of the river and mountains in the distance. Although the full view couldn't be fully appreciated from the front of the house, one could still grasp its beauty. Living here must be truly stunning.
When I walked around to the back of my truck, I stood still for a moment, absorbing the view on this beautiful day. Maybe I should have taken today and tomorrow off to go fishing. Perhaps I could still take tomorrow off...
Lost in my thoughts, the voice of my boss startled me from behind. ‘Good morning, Harry!’ he greeted. ‘Am I interrupting?’
I turned and quickly opened the back doors to grab my tools. ‘No, no, I'm just getting ready. I'll be there in two.’
‘Actually, Harry, I was wondering if it's a good time to chat right now,’ my boss continued.
I looked at him, noticing the seriousness on his face. Did he always look so serious, or was this a serious matter? It made me nervous. ‘Uhmmm... yeah, sure, what's up?’
‘It's about the email you sent me the other week. I apologize for not replying to you yet,’ he explained. ‘Geez, Kyle, why so formal and serious?’ I quipped. ‘Well, we're a large building and construction firm, and we all have our roles and responsibilities,’ he replied. I didn't know how to respond. I didn't expect him to give an actual answer. Instead of saying anything, I simply nodded and waited for him to address the email.
About two weeks ago, my partner Mindy reminded me about my expiring contract. It was my second year here, but also my second contract. I assured her that I wasn't too worried since everyone seemed satisfied with my work. I was reliable, and my contract had already been extended once. That night, I sent Kyle an email, anticipating the offer of a new contract. I was really hoping for a permanent position, but considering Kyle's seriousness, I suspected it might be just another 12-month extension. ‘So, yeah, your contract is expiring soon, and while I intended to call you in for a meeting within the next few weeks, it seems you beat me to it, so we might as well have it now,’ Kyle finally resumed the conversation. ‘Okay, sure. Is it going to be another extension? I have to admit, Kyle, I was really hoping for a permanent contract this time,’ I inquired. ‘Yeah, I know, Harry. And you know, we value your work. It's always clean, tidy, and you're great with clients and the team,’ he reassured me. ‘Okay, you're making it sound promising. So, what is it?’ At that moment, I thought about my friend who had recently been promoted, and a smile crept across my face.
Kyle removed his hat and ran his hand through his dark hair, revealing hints of gray. ‘Well, Harry, the thing is... the firm has had to make some cost-cutting measures, and unfortunately, your position will be disestablished. We won't be extending your contract.’
His words hit me like a ton of bricks. Was I still standing? I couldn't feel my feet. Uncertain if I had heard him correctly, I took a breath and tried to maintain a professional tone, hoping to hide the tremor in my voice. ‘Are... Are you firing me?’
'Well, technically, it's not so much firing you, but rather allowing your contract to expire. However, unfortunately… the outcome remains the same. Once your contract ends, you will no longer be working for us.'
These words struck me even harder. I glanced down at my brand new work boots that I had purchased just two days ago. While they still needed to be worn in, I thought they looked quite stylish. "I should have gone fishing. None of this would have happened if I had just taken a long weekend away," I told myself, knowing deep down, it wouldn’t have changed anything.
I didn't know how to react. How do you respond to such news? Should I be angry? Should I be sad? Disappointed? I suppose, disappointment was the best fit here. As I continued to gaze at my new boots, Kyle continued speaking. ‘Listen, I know this is tough. But I'm more than willing to provide you with a strong reference.’ I mumbled an ‘Okay, thanks’ in response. ‘If you have any questions or need anything, just let me know.’ He gave me a light slap on the shoulder and left me alone.
As soon as he was gone, a whirlwind of thoughts raced through my mind. "What the heck am I supposed to do now? How will I find another job? This one may not have been the best, but the pay was decent, and the hours were reasonable. They even offered benefits."
I turned to look at the house and the view, realizing that my dream would never become a reality. Without a job, I would never be able to afford a property like the one the client had. Mindy and I were so close to getting a loan and purchasing a beautiful place nearby, saving us from long commutes. But without employment, that dream would remain out of reach. A wave of sadness and disappointment washed over me, and I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I quickly wiped them away with my fingers.
Just then, my coworker James pulled up the driveway and parked his truck next to mine. 'Hey Harry, how's it goin’?’ he called out as he made his way to the back to grab his tools.
I kept my gaze fixed on my boots, not wanting him to see my face, even though I was certain no one would be able to see my emotions. I nodded and replied, ‘Alright.’ In that moment, I made a spontaneous decision. I tossed my tools back into the truck and slammed the doors shut.
‘Whoa, Harry, having a rough day?’ James looked at me with confusion. ‘You could say that,’ I snapped. I walked over to the driver's door, climbed in, and left the work site as quickly as possible.
Unsure of where to go, and with Mindy still at work, I felt an urge to stop at a bar and have a drink. But deep down, I knew I shouldn't. It felt liberating to leave the site without informing Kyle, and I was certain he could piece together the reason behind my sudden departure. I drove aimlessly, lost in my thoughts. ‘How could he do this to me?’ I exclaimed aloud. My disappointment and sadness turned into anger. I had always been there, ready to step in and cover shifts. I was a dependable and trustworthy employee. ‘In two years, I had taken only one sick day. Just one!’ I fumed, pounding my hands on the steering wheel. ‘What the heck, Kyle!’ I yelled, my breath becoming shorter. ‘What the hell am I supposed to do now?’
The anger surged through me, and I felt my body heat up. My breath grew shorter, and I realized I was speeding through the urban streets. A tingling sensation started in my shoulder and traveled down to my hand. I longed to punch something – or rather, someone.
That's when my phone rang – it was Mindy. For some inexplicable reason, she had this almost telepathic connection with me, or almost anyone she cared for. Whenever I felt down, she always seemed to appear or call, as if she could read my mind – even from a distance.
I took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm down. I didn't want her to know how upset I was.
Then I answered. ‘Hey, babe!’ ‘Hey, honey! How's your day going?’ Just the sound of her voice brought me a sense of relief. How did she manage to do that? ‘It's... um...,’ I hesitated. Should I lie, and tell her later? But then… Why would I lie to her? She could see right through me, like an open book. I guess I just didn't want to burden her day with my bad news. ‘I think we need to talk later.’
‘Why? What's going on? Can you tell me now?’ Of course, she wanted to know immediately. ‘I think waiting for whatever it is, is worse than knowing.’
There was no point in arguing with her. We'd just go in circles and end up at the same place. So, I took another deep inhale, my heart heavy with the weight of the news I had to deliver. "Mindy, my... my contract won't be extended. I've been laid off."
Silence followed. I realized, how much I disliked these pauses, wondering what she must be thinking. I bit my tongue, keeping myself from pushing her into a response.
Finally, she spoke, her voice filled with empathy, ‘Oh, honey, I'm so sorry to hear that. That really sucks. Did they give you a reason?’
I exhaled, relieved that she didn't explode in anger. But then again, why would she? We were a team, right?
‘Kyle just said they're going to disestablish my role.’
‘Really? In that business with all the work they have? I genuinely thought they would promote you,’ she exclaimed in disbelief.
‘Yeah, I know, me too. I felt like such an idiot for saying I was looking forward to a permanent role,’ I admitted.
‘Oh, hun, I'm sorry. But seriously, don't blame yourself. They should have given you a permanent position considering all the hard work you've put in. How are you feeling about all of this?’ she asked, her voice filled with compassion.
‘Pretty terrible, to be honest!’ I blurted out. ‘I feel sad, disappointed, angry... you name it. I feel like our dream of owning a property is slipping away again. I feel like I'm letting you down.’ I couldn’t stop myself, but it felt good to tell someone. To let it out.
‘Listen, honey, it's completely normal to experience a whirlwind of emotions right now. This situation sucks. But I do wanna mention that I had a feeling you weren't enjoying the job anymore. That's why I thought if you hadn't gotten the promotion, you would have been looking for something else anyway.’
I thought about her words for a moment. She did have a point. But before I could respond, she continued. ‘Listen, I have to get back to work. Sometimes in life, when one door closes, another one opens. I think you need to address this with an open mindset and just go with the flow.’
‘Go with the flow? What does that even mean?’ I asked, but I could hear someone in the background speaking to her.
‘Hun, I'm sorry. Let's chat later when we're home, okay? We'll figure something out. Don't worry about it!’ And with that, she hung up.
Don't worry about it. But how could I not worry? Was I supposed to just accept being laid off and move on, hoping for the best?
Go with the flow. “What the heck does that even mean, Mindy?” I thought. I sighed, feeling the weight of uncertainty on my shoulders.
A honk from behind snapped me back to reality. I was sitting at a green traffic light. I waved my hand apologetically to the driver behind me and carried on. I realized I had still been aimlessly driving through the streets, not knowing where to go next. Without thinking, I signaled and parked at the entrance of a large park, just around the corner from our place. Stepping out of the car, I decided a walk might help clear my mind. I was still wearing my new work boots, paired with my worn-out work pants and shirt.
Funny enough, only a few minutes into my walk, I bumped into an old friend of mine. It had been years since we last saw each other, but the recognition was instant, both on his part and mine.
‘Harry?!’ he exclaimed. ‘Jacob?!’ I responded almost simultaneously. We smiled at each other, clapped our hands, and shared a warm hug. 'How long has it been?’ he asked.
‘Man, I was just thinking the same. Maybe four, five years?’ I replied. 'Yeah, that sounds about right. How have you been?’ There was something different about him. His tone carried a sense of lightness, and compassion.
‘Yeah, I've been good, until this morning when I got laid off from work!’ I made a joke out of it, laughing to mask my discomfort with the truth.
Jacob paused and looked at me. ‘Oh, geez, Harry, I'm so sorry to hear that. Are you really doing alright?’ I waved my hand dismissively. ‘Yeah, you know, it's all good.’ But he continued to study my face, as if trying to figure out whether or not I was telling the truth. ‘You know, I can't quite believe that everything is good. Would you like some advice?’
We continued walking the same path, and I thought, “Oh, here we go. What's next?” But I shrugged and replied, ‘Sure, why not?’
‘You know, in the years we lost touch, I went through three job losses. It's incredibly frustrating, and searching for a new job can drain you of so much energy.’ ‘Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. Okay, I guess you win,’ I responded, letting out another nervous laugh. ‘It's not about winning or losing, Harry. You know what helped me the most?' he asked, but carried on without waiting for me to answer. I didn't know how to reply anyway. 'It's actually quite simple if you think about it.’ He paused, then continued, ‘Just go with the flow.’
I raised my eyebrows. ‘Well, that's the second time I'm hearing this today.’ It was such a weird day today. ‘You know, sometimes when we hear or see things twice in a short time, that could be a sign!’ Jacob smiled.
‘Hmm, yeah, maybe. Well, thanks. I don't know what to do with that, but thanks anyway.’ I shrugged again. ‘Let me explain it,’ Jacob offered. I sighed, feeling like I had no choice but to listen.
We stopped again, this time next to the little creek running through the park. ‘See, just like the river, life flows. Sometimes, there are rocks – big ones or small ones. Sometimes, there's a fallen tree that blocks the stream and only lets some water rush through. Sometimes, there are sluggish stretches. These are all the challenges in life.’
He picked up a couple of pebbles from the ground. ‘If that creek is your life, I can still throw rocks in at any point. You can’t protect yourself from it. This is out of your control. You can either hang onto the fallen tree, swim against the current, or let go and ride along with it. But no matter what you decide, I can still throw those rocks in. Trying to resist change, however, will only make you feel worse. You're aware of the new rocks in your life, but you don't feel strong or capable enough or maybe you’re too scared to swim around and address them head-on. Instead, you keep fighting them, trying to push them out, back onto the riverbed. Sometimes, it's good to have faith that everything is going to work out as it's supposed to, just like the river eventually ends up in the ocean; so let the natural flow take you to the next stage.'
He added with a wink, ‘And just to clarify, in our case those rocks represent the challenge of losing a job, but it could be anything of course.’ He gestured with a finger gun, leaving me wondering about his playful action.
I nodded, finally grasping the meaning of going with the flow. It meant letting go, instead of worrying or becoming frustrated, and focusing on what lies ahead. Maybe there would be some exciting slides along the way, and life could even be fun, but I wouldn't realize it if I kept swimming against the current.
Although I really appreciated the analogy, all I managed to say was a small ‘thanks', but he seemed okay with it.
‘Now, tell me more about you!’ Jacob laughed, and we continued walking.
As we exchanged stories about the past few years, we ended up back at my truck, realizing we had spent quite some time in the park. ‘It was really good seeing you again, Jacob,’ I said. ‘Same here, Harry. And you know, maybe you could pass me your contact details. A friend of mine owns a building company and is looking for a building manager. Maybe that could be you!’
He smiled, and I couldn't help but smile too.
What are the learning's from Harry’s story?
While it's absolutely normal and okay to experience a range of emotions during challenging situations like losing a job, going through a breakup, or not passing a test, it's important to allow these emotions to pass through us rather than holding onto them.
Feeling sad, angry, disappointed, frustrated, or any other emotions in such situations is a sign of being mentally well. It's completely normal given the circumstances you've faced. However, if these feelings persist for an extended period, it may be helpful to explore the reasons behind them or seek someone to talk to.
Although these emotions are completely valid, constantly worrying about the situation won't make it any easier. In fact, it will only perpetuate the same emotions repeatedly. Therefore, it's better to "go with the flow" and let go of excessive worry.
Letting go is undoubtedly challenging, especially when the situation is tough. However, remember that your mind will find more peace when you stop fixating on certain situations. Instead, focus on what lies ahead and strive for the best possible outcome.
What strategies helped you to navigate through challenging times and embrace change in your life?